I just figured out I have to be smarter than she is.

Obviously, I'm a little slow at this parenting thing. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I didn't have 9 months to truly "prepare" for parenthood, but only 6 weeks. Or maybe I didn't read enough, or read too many, books on parenting children. Maybe it's because I give parenting advice to clients of mine, all the while thinking, "like I have it together!" Or maybe it is just God's way of reminding us that no matter how "good" we think we are in any particular area of life (though I wouldn't say parenting was my number one 'talent'), He's just proving to us once again that we need Him for everything, especially parenting.

Enter my very intelligent 18 month old daughter. In the last few weeks, her vocabulary has skyrocketed---literally trying to say most words that we say and doing a pretty good job of it. She can usually say the beginning of a word (and not the ending) so I at least have a clue what she's taking about. She's started saying "la u" for "love you" to us, and it melts my heart everytime. She blows kisses and gives hugs, says "peas" (please) and "tak u" (thank you), and just is a joy. Most days. I'm really thankful that she is so verbal...it's been great to see her try and say new words and use them over and over.

We've also entered the phase of climbing. Everywhere. I was working one night and Hudson told me that she had managed to pull a chair up to our kitchen island and was standiing on top of it. He removed her from the island, but she just puts a chair where she wants to go "up." I'm surprised she hasn't tried to climb out of her crib yet, though I imagine that's coming soon. She climbs over, under, on top of, etc. She tried climbing the kitchen cabinets one day, but was (thankfully) blocked by the fact that they are smooth. (Sigh.) She also hates being confined to anything...her high chair, her car seat, her stroller, the shopping cart at any store, etc. Anything that straps her in to something, she wants out of. And, she's figured out how to get out of most of those. She's so small that no matter how much you tighten the arm straps on her high chair, she can wiggle her little arms out of them. Thank goodness we put the tray on her chair everytime she's in it, because she would have already fallen out by now. Her car seat? Oh yes, she can undo the harness buckle on just about any car seat there is. And does. Especially when a police car is next to me. (It drives me absolutely batty.) No matter how many times I tell her that we have to keep her buckle on to be safe, she undoes it. The good thing? She can put it back together as well, so sometimes I luck out and she'll actually do what I ask. What is a mom to do? I can't pull over every time she unbuckles it...because we wouldn't leave our street. E.v.e.r. I can yell (doesn't work), threaten (doesn't work), take away toys (doesn't work), speak kindly to her (doesn't work), not ever leave my house (Mommy would lose her mind), and still, she's going to undo that buckle. I'm thankful that she doesn't have the strength to undo the more difficult buckle at the bottom...but don't you know that she watches me everytime I do that and I see her little wheels spinning. Mind you, she just reached 20 lbs last week, so we just switched her to forward facing in my car so that I can see her better. At least now I know when she undoes it, instead of wondering when she was rear-facing. Oh yes, did I mention that she also says "buckle" when she's playing with it? I've tried to think of solutions, but I haven't come up with any that wouldn't compromise her safety. I'm open to suggestions. But there's more.

The last few days at naptime and bedtime, she's taken to taking off all of her clothes, including her diaper. We've changed sheets, pj's, washed bumpers and mattress pads, etc., because of the surprises we find. Yesterday alone, I went in there 5 different times because I kept hearing her take off her clothes and I was hoping to catch her. Did anything I say or do matter to her? Nope. While we don't use spanking very often, when willful disobedience is in play, it's an option. So after telling her repeatedly not to take her clothes off (or her diaper), she got a spanking. It didn't affect her one bit. (Insert comment here: "LeAnn, you have a strong willed child who is incredibly stubborn and is apparently pain-tolerant.) Sigh. Again. I thought I might lose my mind after all of this, but decided to one up her. She can't check the internet for ways to try her mother's patience, but I can check on ways to keep your child clothed. Ha ha! Now multiple websites indicated that this was a sign that she as ready to be potty-trained, and that most children do this behavior around 22-24 months. Great! Except that mine is just 18 months old, and I don't think she's ready to potty train. Some suggested duct-taping her diaper to her (I think that sounded painful), or putting a onesie on underneath her clothes because she likely can't undo snaps (which is true). But one suggestion caught my eye, and I'm happy to say that it was a success. I put her pj's on backwards, where the zipper is on the back instead of the front. I don't doubt it was slightly uncomfortable, but hey, she fell asleep and didn't take off her clothes or diaper anymore. I'm sure it's a matter of time before she figures out how to unzip herself from the back, but for yesterday and today, I'm counting this a victory.

Needless to say, I realized that I'm going to have be smarter than she is. I'm sure most parents figure this out a lot sooner than I did, but it was a great revelation for me. And so, Operation Smarty-Pants is in effect at our house. I have no idea what the next trial will be, and I'm sure I'll mess up a few times trying to figure out how to handle it, but I'm going to keep my "smarts" in operation. I've figured out that she wants attention, she can be manipulative, and she hates to not get her way (Okay God, I'm getting your point with my own sinfulness), but I feel we do a really good job of addressing those. I'm going to be re-reading "Parenting a Strong-Willed Child" and "How to Really Love Your Child" in the next few weeks to remind myself of other ways to handle her. Any other suggestions of books/websites/advice are appreciated! We've started incorporating a time out when it's needed, but again, I'm not sure that it makes a difference in her mind. She just throws herself on the floor and screams and we ignore her. Have I also mentioned that she is full of energy? We can go to the park and play for an hour, and she's not even close to being worn out (even if we've played all morning long at home). (Hudson reminded me that I should enjoy all this time that she's awake, because when she's a teen, she'll only be sleeping.)

Now don't hear me complaining..it's not that at all. I'm still very aware of the desire of those to be parents that can't for one reason or another, and even as we wait to adopt again, I'm all too aware of my own inability to produce children, which makes me ever grateful for God's gift of Micayla to us, and of her birthmom. But still, being the best mother I can be means that I have to figure some of this stuff out. So for now, I'm laughing. Laughing at the fact that I was such a "goody two shoes" that I would, of course, receive a child who tries every bit of my patience day in and day out. I'm laughing at the fact that I have to put her pj's on backwards so that she can't get out of them. Laughing at the fact that when I go into her room and she is completely "nekked," that she smiles at me and says "mama" and holds out her arms outstretched to be picked up (and clothed again). And then I lay her down in her crib (again) and tell her I love her, stifling a laugh underneath my breath at the cuteness that is my little girl. :)