Two (of the three) loves of my life!
Happy baby boy!!! (5 months as of last weekend...time flies supersonic speed with the second baby.)
Showing posts with label our family life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label our family life. Show all posts
Friday, October 12, 2012
A Picture will have to do
Two (of the three) loves of my life!
Happy baby boy!!! (5 months as of last weekend...time flies supersonic speed with the second baby.)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
The backstory, part 3
Sorry this is so long, but I'm writing this down for my sake as much as to share with my friends that read this. :)
So, I told my sisters that we had been chosen. Once Micayla and I got back to TX, Hudson chose to share it with his parents as well, mainly because they kept wanting to set dates for a family vacation this summer that was never going to work with a new baby. We were able to have 2 more visits with our birthmom, and absolutely adore her. In fact, I miss seeing her each week--she's just wonderful and I'm so excited that we get to be a part of her extended family and vice versa. The nice thing is, she feels the same way.
She really wanted to be induced so that she wouldn't have to wait until her due date to go into labor. She had a pretty big baby before, and she's super tiny, and her dr. was okay with inducing her once she hit 39 weeks. Her dr. was extremely supportive of her adoption plan, and wanted to make her experience as best as she could for our birthmom. S also asked that I be present for the delivery--what a gift. She wanted to make sure that I was a part of this baby's life from the very beginning, and I was beyond floored by her generosity. Hudson had a final due Mother's Day weekend, and graduation for school (he works alot of the details for graduation) the weekend before (first weekend of May). I kept praying that this little baby's birthday was already chosen by God, and again, I had to trust the details to Him. No sense worrying about it, because it wouldn't have changed anything. So we made a decision to try and take Micayla on a special trip the only weekend we had available, since we knew her life was going to change drastically once a new baby arrived. So that's when we went to Jellystone Park and camped--she is still talking about going even 3 weeks later. It was great to get away and enjoy some one-on-one time with our girl. And (because I know she's reading) a huge thanks to Haylie and her hubby covering for us at church so that we could get away. :)
We had a visit scheduled with S on Saturday, May 5th. Hudson worked his school's graduation that morning, we dropped off Micayla at our friend's home and off we went for another visit. It was a great visit again--everything still stayed the same, no changes. She still wanted me there at delivery. We had a plan for being called, etc., and getting to the hospital. She had even made from scratch cookies for us, which, if you don't know, is an awesome way to show Hudson how much you like him. (Can homemade cookies be a love language? Because they are for my hubby.) Anyways, her mom had come to spend the day with her and they had plans to go out for dinner that evening. It was also a full moon--we joked about her going into labor that evening. She was so ready and was making some progress in preparing for labor, but nothing that was good enough to warrant a trip to the hospital yet. She was scheduled to go back to the dr. the following Thursday, and she was hoping that she would have an induction scheduled for the next day (Friday, the 11th). We were concerned about doing placement over Mother's Day weekend, but she was certain that it would be really special. So we said our goodbyes, jokingly said that we would see her later that evening because she would be in labor, and off we went (it was about 4:30 pm).
5:00 am, Sunday, May 6th. Hudson's cell phone rings. For someone that normally keeps his cell on silent at night, he (tells me later) chose to intentionally keep it on just in case Cindy called. I knew as soon as the phone rang who it was. Cindy tells Hudson that S is in labor, things were happening fast, and that we needed to get to the hospital. Now the hospital that she was delivering at was 1 hour away. Not something we could make happen quickly. So we both showered, got our things together, and I called our friend at 6:00 am that I knew could take Micayla for the day for us. I woke up Micayla at 6:15, we got her ready and dropped off, and then heade towards the hospital. Now, we don't miss many Sundays at church, especially because we lead our SS class. So to miss two in a row is quite unusual. So another text to let our friends know that we wouldn't be there (we did share why this time...I was hoping to tell her that morning about the upcoming events) and we got to the hospital about 7:20. Once we got there, another worker met us and let us know that Riley had been born at 5:37 am, and that S had such a quick labor that she didn't even have time to get an epidural. We went in and saw her and him, we got to hold him, and we spent all morning with S and Riley and S's parents. I got to feed him a bottle, change his diaper, and just admire the handsome little boy in my arms. Hudson and I were beyond thrilled. S was so sorry that I didn't make it for the delivery--she even told me she tried to hold him in. :) I was really okay with it, and we planned on seeing her the following Tuesday for placement at the hospital. As we drove home, I kind of kicked my mind into high gear about all things I needed to get done in the one day I had (Micayla had school on Monday, thank goodness!). But since we weren't still telling Micayla, everything still had to be on the secretive side. She believed we were attending several meetings--even encouraged us to not to bite our friends at our meeting, and made sure to ask us when we got back if we did, in fact, "bit anybody." She was glad to hear that we didn't.
So Tuesday morning, we drop Micayla off to spend the day with her best friend. She was super thrilled about a fun day with her friends. I was thankful to not worry about her all day because she was in such good hands. We went to the hospital and waited in the lobby for a while until our agency came and met us. S signed her papers first, then we signed our papers in the lobby. Then we headed to the chapel of the hospital. We waited there while S was being discharged with Riley. S, Riley, and her parents met us in the chapel and we gave her some gifts, and she gave us his discharge instructions. S's stepdad prayed over us and Riley and then she placed him in my arms. (Cue crying here.) Amazingly, it was a really tender moment between S and Hudson and myself. Certainly she was sad, but she also wrote him the most beautiful letter about why she chose adoption for him, and why she chose us to be his parents. God was with us in those moments. We absolutely love S and are thankful beyond measure for the son she gave us. And we're thankful to God for His provision to enlarge our family, even when most of our hope was lost. S and her family left, we stayed for a little while at the hospital, then we packed him in his carseat and headed home. (It was almost lunchtime, so we stopped at CFA to get lunch and eat it in the car.) We called Hudson's parents to let them know we had him, I called my sisters, and then we went home. We got to spend all afternoon with our little guy before our big girl came home, which was great, since we had nothing set up in the way of caring for him (i.e. pack n play, clothes washed, bottles washed, etc.) We enjoyed our snuggles with Riley and prepared a few things for a big sister party that we had that evening for Micayla.
I'll share how God worked in our girl's heart the weeks before Riley was born and how we surprised her with a baby brother that eveing in the next post. :) For now, I'll leave you with some pictures of our newest blessing.
Riley Michael
born 5/6/2012
7 lbs, 5 oz, 19 1/2 inches long
Holding Riley a few hours after he was born.
Right after our placement ceremony.
Riley--yes, he has a ton of hair!
(Am working on updating our blog title since it is a bit incorrect now.)
So, I told my sisters that we had been chosen. Once Micayla and I got back to TX, Hudson chose to share it with his parents as well, mainly because they kept wanting to set dates for a family vacation this summer that was never going to work with a new baby. We were able to have 2 more visits with our birthmom, and absolutely adore her. In fact, I miss seeing her each week--she's just wonderful and I'm so excited that we get to be a part of her extended family and vice versa. The nice thing is, she feels the same way.
She really wanted to be induced so that she wouldn't have to wait until her due date to go into labor. She had a pretty big baby before, and she's super tiny, and her dr. was okay with inducing her once she hit 39 weeks. Her dr. was extremely supportive of her adoption plan, and wanted to make her experience as best as she could for our birthmom. S also asked that I be present for the delivery--what a gift. She wanted to make sure that I was a part of this baby's life from the very beginning, and I was beyond floored by her generosity. Hudson had a final due Mother's Day weekend, and graduation for school (he works alot of the details for graduation) the weekend before (first weekend of May). I kept praying that this little baby's birthday was already chosen by God, and again, I had to trust the details to Him. No sense worrying about it, because it wouldn't have changed anything. So we made a decision to try and take Micayla on a special trip the only weekend we had available, since we knew her life was going to change drastically once a new baby arrived. So that's when we went to Jellystone Park and camped--she is still talking about going even 3 weeks later. It was great to get away and enjoy some one-on-one time with our girl. And (because I know she's reading) a huge thanks to Haylie and her hubby covering for us at church so that we could get away. :)
We had a visit scheduled with S on Saturday, May 5th. Hudson worked his school's graduation that morning, we dropped off Micayla at our friend's home and off we went for another visit. It was a great visit again--everything still stayed the same, no changes. She still wanted me there at delivery. We had a plan for being called, etc., and getting to the hospital. She had even made from scratch cookies for us, which, if you don't know, is an awesome way to show Hudson how much you like him. (Can homemade cookies be a love language? Because they are for my hubby.) Anyways, her mom had come to spend the day with her and they had plans to go out for dinner that evening. It was also a full moon--we joked about her going into labor that evening. She was so ready and was making some progress in preparing for labor, but nothing that was good enough to warrant a trip to the hospital yet. She was scheduled to go back to the dr. the following Thursday, and she was hoping that she would have an induction scheduled for the next day (Friday, the 11th). We were concerned about doing placement over Mother's Day weekend, but she was certain that it would be really special. So we said our goodbyes, jokingly said that we would see her later that evening because she would be in labor, and off we went (it was about 4:30 pm).
5:00 am, Sunday, May 6th. Hudson's cell phone rings. For someone that normally keeps his cell on silent at night, he (tells me later) chose to intentionally keep it on just in case Cindy called. I knew as soon as the phone rang who it was. Cindy tells Hudson that S is in labor, things were happening fast, and that we needed to get to the hospital. Now the hospital that she was delivering at was 1 hour away. Not something we could make happen quickly. So we both showered, got our things together, and I called our friend at 6:00 am that I knew could take Micayla for the day for us. I woke up Micayla at 6:15, we got her ready and dropped off, and then heade towards the hospital. Now, we don't miss many Sundays at church, especially because we lead our SS class. So to miss two in a row is quite unusual. So another text to let our friends know that we wouldn't be there (we did share why this time...I was hoping to tell her that morning about the upcoming events) and we got to the hospital about 7:20. Once we got there, another worker met us and let us know that Riley had been born at 5:37 am, and that S had such a quick labor that she didn't even have time to get an epidural. We went in and saw her and him, we got to hold him, and we spent all morning with S and Riley and S's parents. I got to feed him a bottle, change his diaper, and just admire the handsome little boy in my arms. Hudson and I were beyond thrilled. S was so sorry that I didn't make it for the delivery--she even told me she tried to hold him in. :) I was really okay with it, and we planned on seeing her the following Tuesday for placement at the hospital. As we drove home, I kind of kicked my mind into high gear about all things I needed to get done in the one day I had (Micayla had school on Monday, thank goodness!). But since we weren't still telling Micayla, everything still had to be on the secretive side. She believed we were attending several meetings--even encouraged us to not to bite our friends at our meeting, and made sure to ask us when we got back if we did, in fact, "bit anybody." She was glad to hear that we didn't.
So Tuesday morning, we drop Micayla off to spend the day with her best friend. She was super thrilled about a fun day with her friends. I was thankful to not worry about her all day because she was in such good hands. We went to the hospital and waited in the lobby for a while until our agency came and met us. S signed her papers first, then we signed our papers in the lobby. Then we headed to the chapel of the hospital. We waited there while S was being discharged with Riley. S, Riley, and her parents met us in the chapel and we gave her some gifts, and she gave us his discharge instructions. S's stepdad prayed over us and Riley and then she placed him in my arms. (Cue crying here.) Amazingly, it was a really tender moment between S and Hudson and myself. Certainly she was sad, but she also wrote him the most beautiful letter about why she chose adoption for him, and why she chose us to be his parents. God was with us in those moments. We absolutely love S and are thankful beyond measure for the son she gave us. And we're thankful to God for His provision to enlarge our family, even when most of our hope was lost. S and her family left, we stayed for a little while at the hospital, then we packed him in his carseat and headed home. (It was almost lunchtime, so we stopped at CFA to get lunch and eat it in the car.) We called Hudson's parents to let them know we had him, I called my sisters, and then we went home. We got to spend all afternoon with our little guy before our big girl came home, which was great, since we had nothing set up in the way of caring for him (i.e. pack n play, clothes washed, bottles washed, etc.) We enjoyed our snuggles with Riley and prepared a few things for a big sister party that we had that evening for Micayla.
I'll share how God worked in our girl's heart the weeks before Riley was born and how we surprised her with a baby brother that eveing in the next post. :) For now, I'll leave you with some pictures of our newest blessing.
Riley Michael
born 5/6/2012
7 lbs, 5 oz, 19 1/2 inches long
(Am working on updating our blog title since it is a bit incorrect now.)
The backstory, part 2
So, I left off with my attending LNO on Thursday, March 8th. Friday, March 9th was just another day for our family. Micayla and I likely spent the morning at home, maybe did a little grocery shopping at Target. I doubt she took a nap, since those tend to be pretty infrequent these days. I know that my phone rang mid-morning and I was standing at our kitchen island. (Does anyone else get a ton done at their kitchen island? Because I sure do. Sorry for the digression.) I looked at the number, didn't think anything of it, and answered it. It was Cindy, a case worker (and RN) from our adoption agency. Now, I'm just floored at this point because of my prayer the previous day. God knew how much I needed to hear something and answered my request. You know how you can hear something and in the span of a second think a thousand different thoughts? Well, that happened. She said, "hi this is Cindy" and I had a thousand thoughts. What really stood out was how gracious God was to give me a personal call from our agency. Now, the thing is, she kept talking. Which meant my mind and mouth needed to catch up pretty quickly to what she was asking me (thankfully, it was just "how are you?"). I answered that we were doing okay---they already knew it had been a hard week for me because I'd called earlier in the week asking for encouragement. Yes, that's right. I called I think on Tuesday of that week to tell them I was struggling and I needed to hear encouragement from them. And they were great to give it...I talked with Sara and she just reminded me that when we were chosen it would be perfect. And that while the wait is long, the outcome is unbelievable. So, when Cindy said, "you've been chosen by a birthmom" I got that strange smile on my face that you know is huge but you don't want anyone else to see so that you can process what's going on. Micayla? I think she was happily playing with her dolls--not interrupting me on the phone, which is another act of God's graciousness towards me at that time. Because the normal thing would be that she wants to also talk to whoever is on the phone and I can't hear a thing they are saying. What can I say? God is good...even in the details. :)
So she let me know that we had been chosen by a birthmom. She was due in mid-May. (There are lots of details about her and our adoption that we keep private because they aren't ours to share.) I got the details that were important to our family and then we set up a date for a first meeting with "S". We were able to have our first visit with her the following week, right before we headed out for Spring Break, and right before I got my tonsils out. We met "S" and her mom and stepdad and all I can really say about it is that God's peace was present. It was an absolute delight to meet her and her parents and talk about what was to come. Our agency doesn't allow you to "pick" the gender of your child, so one of the gifts that she gives to the adoptive parents is to tell them what she is having. She was able to show us several recent ultrasounds and let us know that this baby was all BOY! Her official due date was May 18th, she and baby were in great health, and we were on our way to welcoming a boy to our little family. She told us that she thought we needed a boy to even out our girl--and because Hudson loves the outdoors/hunting/fishing, etc. We talked names with her--she had a name chosen for him, and as part of our agency's agreement, we agree to take at least one of the names that she had chosen. So naming a baby is really a compromise between both birthmom and adoptive parents. (Backing up, we, of course, had several girl names that we loved and would have been happy with. Boy names? Well, we struggled for days to find any that we loved, but finally came up with 2 that we thought would be great for our family, and for their meanings.) She shared the name that she wanted us to keep, and we shared the 2 names that liked and the reason behind those names. Once we left our meeting that day, this little boy was named Riley Michael. We loved that Micayla is a derivative of Michael, so they both have the same meanings for parts of their names. Michael was also a name that my mom really liked--so that was a nice way to honor her since she would have been so excited to know that she had a third grandson on the way.
We left our meeting with such joy, such peace. Honestly, I hardly ever doubted this adoption--it just fell into place and I chose not to concern myself with the outcome, because (again) I am not in charge. It was so much easier this way because while I was certainly emotionally connected, I also knew we could survive another failed placement. But more than anything, I think God's peace truly transcended my concerns and He just left me to trust Him. So I did. Hudson and I had deliberately made the decision that we would not be telling Micayla this time around. After our failed placement, even at her 2 year old stage, we had involved her (she even met birthmom) and she struggled for days with why her baby wasn't coming home. So in order to spare her any hurt (especially now that she was even older), we chose not to tell her. That probably aided my peace about the situation as well--if you don't tell your 3 1/2 year old that she has a sibling coming, and intend to not tell her until baby is home with us, preparations made were few and far between. Couldn't put the crib together, because she would know. Couldn't buy baby clothes, because our smart girl can put 2 and 2 together faster than I can count to ten. (She's quite the perceptive one.) The one thing we did was talk "around" a baby coming. We'd say things like, "one day, God is going to give us another baby through adoption." The only definitive thing we did was tell her that we were fairly certain that she was going to get a brother at some point. This statement only because she was adamant that she wanted a sister and told us that she didn't want a brother. So we figured we'd just tell her that she was going to get a brother, that way if she did, she was sort-of prepared, and if it ended in a failed placement, and we got chosen again, and it was a sister, then she was pleasnantly surprised.
So we had a fun Spring Break, Hudson and I talked in code in the car while she watched movies on the DVD player, and no one except for two close friends knew what was going on. We only told two friends so that we could have babysitters on hand if our birthmom went into labor early. Other than that, we didn't tell our families or any other friends until a little bit closer to her due date, and even then we kept it pretty guarded. I got my tonsils out (amazing that God knew when I needed to get that done so that I could feel my best this summer), and we looked forward to May. Hudson, being in school, had a big paper due in April, and I had already planned on heading to Tennessee to see my sisters and meet my new nephew Quin. So Micayla and I went to TN for a long weekend, I got to snuggle my nephew (I did, in fact, whisper my secret to him, but he didn't tell), and I didn't tell my sisters a thing. I was so proud because I had already planned on surprising them once baby boy was home with us. (Because what is much more exciting than springing on family that you have a baby? And not just one coming, but one already here?) And then my middle sister said something and I tried my best to be very nonchalant about a response, but she can see through anything, and I didn't feel right to lie. So then she knew and then I told my youngest sister over breakfast through spelling it out because the kids were with us. Both, of course, were excited.
To be continued....
So she let me know that we had been chosen by a birthmom. She was due in mid-May. (There are lots of details about her and our adoption that we keep private because they aren't ours to share.) I got the details that were important to our family and then we set up a date for a first meeting with "S". We were able to have our first visit with her the following week, right before we headed out for Spring Break, and right before I got my tonsils out. We met "S" and her mom and stepdad and all I can really say about it is that God's peace was present. It was an absolute delight to meet her and her parents and talk about what was to come. Our agency doesn't allow you to "pick" the gender of your child, so one of the gifts that she gives to the adoptive parents is to tell them what she is having. She was able to show us several recent ultrasounds and let us know that this baby was all BOY! Her official due date was May 18th, she and baby were in great health, and we were on our way to welcoming a boy to our little family. She told us that she thought we needed a boy to even out our girl--and because Hudson loves the outdoors/hunting/fishing, etc. We talked names with her--she had a name chosen for him, and as part of our agency's agreement, we agree to take at least one of the names that she had chosen. So naming a baby is really a compromise between both birthmom and adoptive parents. (Backing up, we, of course, had several girl names that we loved and would have been happy with. Boy names? Well, we struggled for days to find any that we loved, but finally came up with 2 that we thought would be great for our family, and for their meanings.) She shared the name that she wanted us to keep, and we shared the 2 names that liked and the reason behind those names. Once we left our meeting that day, this little boy was named Riley Michael. We loved that Micayla is a derivative of Michael, so they both have the same meanings for parts of their names. Michael was also a name that my mom really liked--so that was a nice way to honor her since she would have been so excited to know that she had a third grandson on the way.
We left our meeting with such joy, such peace. Honestly, I hardly ever doubted this adoption--it just fell into place and I chose not to concern myself with the outcome, because (again) I am not in charge. It was so much easier this way because while I was certainly emotionally connected, I also knew we could survive another failed placement. But more than anything, I think God's peace truly transcended my concerns and He just left me to trust Him. So I did. Hudson and I had deliberately made the decision that we would not be telling Micayla this time around. After our failed placement, even at her 2 year old stage, we had involved her (she even met birthmom) and she struggled for days with why her baby wasn't coming home. So in order to spare her any hurt (especially now that she was even older), we chose not to tell her. That probably aided my peace about the situation as well--if you don't tell your 3 1/2 year old that she has a sibling coming, and intend to not tell her until baby is home with us, preparations made were few and far between. Couldn't put the crib together, because she would know. Couldn't buy baby clothes, because our smart girl can put 2 and 2 together faster than I can count to ten. (She's quite the perceptive one.) The one thing we did was talk "around" a baby coming. We'd say things like, "one day, God is going to give us another baby through adoption." The only definitive thing we did was tell her that we were fairly certain that she was going to get a brother at some point. This statement only because she was adamant that she wanted a sister and told us that she didn't want a brother. So we figured we'd just tell her that she was going to get a brother, that way if she did, she was sort-of prepared, and if it ended in a failed placement, and we got chosen again, and it was a sister, then she was pleasnantly surprised.
So we had a fun Spring Break, Hudson and I talked in code in the car while she watched movies on the DVD player, and no one except for two close friends knew what was going on. We only told two friends so that we could have babysitters on hand if our birthmom went into labor early. Other than that, we didn't tell our families or any other friends until a little bit closer to her due date, and even then we kept it pretty guarded. I got my tonsils out (amazing that God knew when I needed to get that done so that I could feel my best this summer), and we looked forward to May. Hudson, being in school, had a big paper due in April, and I had already planned on heading to Tennessee to see my sisters and meet my new nephew Quin. So Micayla and I went to TN for a long weekend, I got to snuggle my nephew (I did, in fact, whisper my secret to him, but he didn't tell), and I didn't tell my sisters a thing. I was so proud because I had already planned on surprising them once baby boy was home with us. (Because what is much more exciting than springing on family that you have a baby? And not just one coming, but one already here?) And then my middle sister said something and I tried my best to be very nonchalant about a response, but she can see through anything, and I didn't feel right to lie. So then she knew and then I told my youngest sister over breakfast through spelling it out because the kids were with us. Both, of course, were excited.
To be continued....
Saturday, May 19, 2012
The backstory, part 1
I should back up to March. Remember March? It was springy here in H-town. (Despite the pollen, we celebrated Spring longer than one week!) I had a few things going on--we traveled to San Angelo for Spring Break, I had my tonsils out, and amid those few things we also got our home inspection update, a fire inspection update, an environmental update in order for our adoption "file" to be up to date. When we applied in Feb. of 2010, we had to have all those things done (again), and unknown to me, they expire after 2 years. So early 2012 had us receiving multiple reminders (friendly, of course) that we needed to get these things "renewed" if you will. Not necessarily a problem but time consuming, and there's always a cost involved (in addition to the fees we've already paid to our agency.) But we just went with it, and I really tried to keep the outlook that while these things are a little hectic to accomplish, the end result is that we are up to date to bring a baby home. And I've been praying since our failed placement on Thanksgiving of 2010 that we would be the family that would get a call one day that we had been chosen, and picked up baby the next day. I just didn't think that lasting through the 6 weeks of waiting from finding out you are chosen until birth was going to be good for my emotional health.
But the thing that has ringed constantly in my ear is that I am not in charge. As a first-born, Type-A person--this is a realization that is hard to overcome. So I have to work on it day to day. Some days, I'm great about it; other days, I plain stink at letting go and letting God. Because while I hate to admit it, there are times when I think that I know better, or know a better plan. Now, faith tells me that this isn't the case (and oh, it has played out awful at times), but it still sneaks in from time to time. So I've just tried my best to be content with the plan that God had for us, and prayed often that it included enlarging our family through adoption. Having biological children would be wonderful, but at this point, seemingly unlikely. And I really have made my peace with that. Infertility still stinks and it isn't what I would have chosen had I been in charge, but (see first sentence of this paragraph). I am not in charge. And adoption? Love it. I would have never known what God was doing to do with me, with my marriage, with our family, with my faith, etc., had I not been willing to listen to my husband who felt we should move away from fertility treatments and instead pursue adoption. (Not a slam against those who've done fertility treatments at all, by the way....we were days away from doing an IUI when the whole adoption thing started...we just prayerfully decided that it wasn't our best option, since in reality, our fertility options held more chance of failing than being successful. When our RE told us that our chance of getting pregnant were less than 1% on our own due to my poor ovarian reserve, and only increased to 5-8% with IUI or IVF, well statistically speaking, adoption held a much better percentage.) Anyways, I am not in charge. So I don't get to decide the details. I have to trust all the specifics to the One who is greater than me (thank goodness!). And did He ever wow us with specifics.
Specifically, March 8th. I'd had a hard week. Several difficult clients in my caseload. A certain 3-yr-old whose idea of potty training is to go about 3-4 days without an accident, then have several accidents for several days. Mind you, we've been in the potty training phase now since August 1. Yes, that's over 6 months of battling the potty. Plus, add a little bit of sassiness, a lot of talking back (despite correction), and tons of "no's" being directed towards us--well all of this meant for one tired, frustrated momma. Add in a few discouraging days of finding out you haven't been chosen by birthparents. Yes, we had at least 4 that I can remember that didn't choose us. After 2 years, hearing about another "no" just added to the exhaustion of waiting. So, March 8th. Ladies Night Out! The first Thursday of the month, our church class ladies get together for LNO. I was heading to a close friend's home for this LNO--we did a cookie exchange. I distinctly remember praying all the way to my friend's house (about 15 minutes) for us to hear something, anything from our agency. Now, in hindsight, hearing from them could have easily meant hearing another "no," but I remember saying the words that I just needed to know that He was moving in the plans for us to adopt again. I needed to know He was there, handling all the details, because in all honesty, I was discouraged. (LNO was fine...a good friend let me hold her little 6 week old almost the entire time and it was strangely soothing.)
To be continued...
But the thing that has ringed constantly in my ear is that I am not in charge. As a first-born, Type-A person--this is a realization that is hard to overcome. So I have to work on it day to day. Some days, I'm great about it; other days, I plain stink at letting go and letting God. Because while I hate to admit it, there are times when I think that I know better, or know a better plan. Now, faith tells me that this isn't the case (and oh, it has played out awful at times), but it still sneaks in from time to time. So I've just tried my best to be content with the plan that God had for us, and prayed often that it included enlarging our family through adoption. Having biological children would be wonderful, but at this point, seemingly unlikely. And I really have made my peace with that. Infertility still stinks and it isn't what I would have chosen had I been in charge, but (see first sentence of this paragraph). I am not in charge. And adoption? Love it. I would have never known what God was doing to do with me, with my marriage, with our family, with my faith, etc., had I not been willing to listen to my husband who felt we should move away from fertility treatments and instead pursue adoption. (Not a slam against those who've done fertility treatments at all, by the way....we were days away from doing an IUI when the whole adoption thing started...we just prayerfully decided that it wasn't our best option, since in reality, our fertility options held more chance of failing than being successful. When our RE told us that our chance of getting pregnant were less than 1% on our own due to my poor ovarian reserve, and only increased to 5-8% with IUI or IVF, well statistically speaking, adoption held a much better percentage.) Anyways, I am not in charge. So I don't get to decide the details. I have to trust all the specifics to the One who is greater than me (thank goodness!). And did He ever wow us with specifics.
Specifically, March 8th. I'd had a hard week. Several difficult clients in my caseload. A certain 3-yr-old whose idea of potty training is to go about 3-4 days without an accident, then have several accidents for several days. Mind you, we've been in the potty training phase now since August 1. Yes, that's over 6 months of battling the potty. Plus, add a little bit of sassiness, a lot of talking back (despite correction), and tons of "no's" being directed towards us--well all of this meant for one tired, frustrated momma. Add in a few discouraging days of finding out you haven't been chosen by birthparents. Yes, we had at least 4 that I can remember that didn't choose us. After 2 years, hearing about another "no" just added to the exhaustion of waiting. So, March 8th. Ladies Night Out! The first Thursday of the month, our church class ladies get together for LNO. I was heading to a close friend's home for this LNO--we did a cookie exchange. I distinctly remember praying all the way to my friend's house (about 15 minutes) for us to hear something, anything from our agency. Now, in hindsight, hearing from them could have easily meant hearing another "no," but I remember saying the words that I just needed to know that He was moving in the plans for us to adopt again. I needed to know He was there, handling all the details, because in all honesty, I was discouraged. (LNO was fine...a good friend let me hold her little 6 week old almost the entire time and it was strangely soothing.)
To be continued...
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Camping at Jellystone
I'm thinking that I might have to rename what we do from "camping" to "slightly roughing it." I mean, it's hard to feel like you are truly "camping" if you are enjoying your A/C and using your own bathroom that you don't have to wear flip flops because you don't want to touch the nasty floor that hundreds of others have bathed on...needless to say, we "slightly roughed it" last weekend. Between Hudson's school this semester, some illnesses for Micayla, and my surgery, plus our church commitments, we just haven't had a weekend to get away. So last weekend, since Hudson's final hadn't been published yet, we packed up and headed out for a weekend o' fun.
Typically, we try to camp at a state park because we have a state parks pass, and we love being able to hike, play outside and truly just enjoy nature. But we couldn't definitely plan our camping weekend until a few days before, which meant that most of the state parks that we can drive pretty easily to were already booked (it has been a wonderful Spring, except for the pollen). So, we had heard of Jellystone Campground in Waller (several of our friends had actually been last year), and we knew it had a water slide (which is likely Micayla's love language, if that's possible), and it's only about 1 hour and 15 minutes away, plus they had openings. So, plans were made (reservations completed), and Friday around lunch we took off with the Silver Streak towards Waller. It is a little expensive for a camping weekend in our opinion, but we know we won't be able to camp much (if any) this coming summer due to Hudson having three classes to take (plus still work FT), so we chalked it up to making a great weekend for Micayla (and us). Call it a mini-vacation if you will. Plus the cost includes all the activities (water slide, pool, mini golf, big water slide, fishing, etc.), and Micayla was free! (Yippeee!)
I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...
Hanging out on the bed (likely watching Tangled).
Daddy cooking breakfast outside for us.
So excited to be in the water park.
Heading out on her maiden slide voyage.
Hudson and Micayla rode a tall tunnel, twisty slide together. Notice Hudson's face.
Notice Hudson's face again...Micayla was as excited as can be...she asked to ride it again (with me the next time).
Coming down the slide--she got turned sideways, I think because she's so light that she caught some air on the turn, (and thought that was so fun!)
Here's the rest of the progression...
I can't count the number of times the child went down this slide. We did have to really work on helping her understand waiting her turn in line (lots of bigger kids in line with her didn't appreciate her cutting).
Our "home" away from home.
My two favorite people!
Trike riding (it was hard in the grass, so Mommy got to pull her everywhere).
Fishing at dusk.
They didn't catch anything, but Micayla believed that she was "big enough" to throw her line in the water by herself (she isn't). So when she couldn't do that, she decided she'd rather not fish. I'm guessing she might be what they call a "fair weather fisherwoman."
Climbing on Yogi the bear and his picnic basket (it was right across from our camper, so we visited often).
Cooking pancakes and maple sausage for breakfast #2....it was good!
We are in the fake smile stage. Enter my sarcastic "yippee" here.
Playing mini golf...Hudson learned by the second swing to not stand as close to her.
If Micayla were an adult, she would call this one "that was a practice swing, Mom."
See the camo/brown bounce house in the back of this picture? They had it blown up Sunday morning and it was a scary looking monster type thing. Anyways, while my child looks happy in this picture, let's just go ahead and say that by hole number 4 (out of 18), all I heard was "Mommy, I want to go jump" every few minutes, despite my telling her that I wasn't going to let her go in it, and that I didn't think she was old enough. (Lots of bigger kids going in it=this mommy isn't going to let little bit get jumped over and on.) This picture was right before a meltdown--isn't it funny how we moms remember all the details of our pictures before and after they are taken? Thankfully it was a short meltdown and we recovered quickly. Said meltdown was likely encouraged by the fact that she didn't want to go to sleep the night before (she would miss out on the fun, she . said!), and waking up at first light (around 6:15). Kudos though to Micayla--we had no accidents all weekend long, which is quite a feat since we've been in the "potty training" stage for 8 months now.
All in all, we had a great weekend away. Micayla has talked about going down the water slide all this week and wants to know when we can go back. Though she's already asked that she bring a friend next time (where did she figure out that was a possibility?). It was a great location for our family--we were home by early afternoon and while Micayla didn't take a nap, she did go to bed early. :) I enjoyed spending a little quiet time under the stars in lawnchairs talking to my hubby--and reading a little bit before bed (a luxury nowadays). While we won't be able to go every weekend (ever) to Jellystone, I can see that we could likely go once a year (probably in the Spring), mainly because of the short drive it takes to "get out of the city." Already looking forward to our next camping trip--whereever that might be!
Typically, we try to camp at a state park because we have a state parks pass, and we love being able to hike, play outside and truly just enjoy nature. But we couldn't definitely plan our camping weekend until a few days before, which meant that most of the state parks that we can drive pretty easily to were already booked (it has been a wonderful Spring, except for the pollen). So, we had heard of Jellystone Campground in Waller (several of our friends had actually been last year), and we knew it had a water slide (which is likely Micayla's love language, if that's possible), and it's only about 1 hour and 15 minutes away, plus they had openings. So, plans were made (reservations completed), and Friday around lunch we took off with the Silver Streak towards Waller. It is a little expensive for a camping weekend in our opinion, but we know we won't be able to camp much (if any) this coming summer due to Hudson having three classes to take (plus still work FT), so we chalked it up to making a great weekend for Micayla (and us). Call it a mini-vacation if you will. Plus the cost includes all the activities (water slide, pool, mini golf, big water slide, fishing, etc.), and Micayla was free! (Yippeee!)
I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...
All in all, we had a great weekend away. Micayla has talked about going down the water slide all this week and wants to know when we can go back. Though she's already asked that she bring a friend next time (where did she figure out that was a possibility?). It was a great location for our family--we were home by early afternoon and while Micayla didn't take a nap, she did go to bed early. :) I enjoyed spending a little quiet time under the stars in lawnchairs talking to my hubby--and reading a little bit before bed (a luxury nowadays). While we won't be able to go every weekend (ever) to Jellystone, I can see that we could likely go once a year (probably in the Spring), mainly because of the short drive it takes to "get out of the city." Already looking forward to our next camping trip--whereever that might be!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Easter
Easter was a great day of celebration for our family! Normally, we tend to use Easter weekend as a time to drive to see Hudson's parents since Hudson doesn't work on Good Friday. This year, though, we had driven to see Hudson's parents and visit the ranch the last half of Spring Break week, so we were going to stay home for Easter. In the almost 7 years we've lived here in H-town, we've not once attended Easter services at our church because we've been on the road. Hudson also was able to knock out a good portion of a big paper he had due for school on Easter weekend, so Micayla and I took time to play outside, dyed eggs, made Resurrection cookies, and had Easter egg hunts. We also got to have Easter lunch with two families that also don't have family nearby, so that was great too.
We got all dressed up (I'm still a Southern girl who believes that a new Easter dress is just part of the tradition), took a few pictures, then enjoyed worshipping with our church family that morning before heading out for lunch. I made a crock-pot pork tenderloin (it was great) and Italian Cream Cake from Pioneer Woman's new cookbook (a gift from my dear small group girls). I didn't take pictures of those, but they were great.
So a funny story about the Resurrection cookies...I was so excited to try them this year because I thought Micayla might be able to pick up on some of the story since she had been studying about Easter at church and at school. She could tell me that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins, and that He rose again on the 3rd day. So we started making the cookies--Hudson would read the Scripture that went with every step of making the cookies. I had Micayla smell the vinegar and told her that it tasted bad by itself--I asked her what she thought of the smell and she replied, "I think it smells good." Oh dear... Then we went to taste the salt and she thought that tasted good as well. I let her taste the sugar at the end, and she thought that tasted bad. I'm afraid that my attempt at Resurecction cookies being a good teaching lesson for her was failed. She also thought the cookies themselves tasted bad, so I'm not sure what to think about that experience.
Here's a few pictures from our Easter weekend!
Waiting to dye eggs!
She found one!
Yes, this girl knows how to pose when she wants to. :)
With her "best Daddy ever" as she likes to call him.
We got all dressed up (I'm still a Southern girl who believes that a new Easter dress is just part of the tradition), took a few pictures, then enjoyed worshipping with our church family that morning before heading out for lunch. I made a crock-pot pork tenderloin (it was great) and Italian Cream Cake from Pioneer Woman's new cookbook (a gift from my dear small group girls). I didn't take pictures of those, but they were great.
So a funny story about the Resurrection cookies...I was so excited to try them this year because I thought Micayla might be able to pick up on some of the story since she had been studying about Easter at church and at school. She could tell me that Jesus died on the cross to save us from our sins, and that He rose again on the 3rd day. So we started making the cookies--Hudson would read the Scripture that went with every step of making the cookies. I had Micayla smell the vinegar and told her that it tasted bad by itself--I asked her what she thought of the smell and she replied, "I think it smells good." Oh dear... Then we went to taste the salt and she thought that tasted good as well. I let her taste the sugar at the end, and she thought that tasted bad. I'm afraid that my attempt at Resurecction cookies being a good teaching lesson for her was failed. She also thought the cookies themselves tasted bad, so I'm not sure what to think about that experience.
Here's a few pictures from our Easter weekend!
The Ranch
Back in March during Spring Break, we headed to San Angelo to be at Hudson's parents ranch...it was prime time to go because most of the mama goats had just had their babies! Micayla loves playing with the baby goats (and they are really cute and playful). We saw hundreds of babies--one mama even had four (which is pretty unusual, though twins are common). We had to help feed a few of the baby goats since their mamas left them to fend for themselves (attachment issues I guess...he he). Between chasing all the goats, feeding the cattle, playing dress up at the house, it was a full weekend! But we had a good visit and our little girl was as happy as can be (as was her father).
Having a picnic lunch in the wagon.
A fine place to hang your cowgirl hat.
Enjoying the open window.
Her favorite thing to do at the ranch--picking up a baby goat.
Second favorite thing to do--chasing the goats in attempts to catch them.
Walking the fence with Pawpaw.
Chasing the goats again.
Daddy and his girl.
She's toe-tapping in this picture--while singing "The Farmer and the Dell."
Posing with Memaw and they both played dress-up.
Both are as happy as can be out at the ranch.
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