Let's back up, shall we? Labor Day weekend, Hudson's parents are coming for a visit. They are to arrive Friday evening. During Friday's nap, Micayla decides to climb out of her crib. About 20 times. And climb back in it. Needless to say, no nap occurred. If my in-laws weren't coming, I would have probably put Micayla in our guest bed. But that wasn't an option, and I apparently didn't have the thought of taking our crib mattress and putting it on the floor. So, I went into high gear and told Hudson and his parents that we needed to go that evening to get a twin mattress (we are totally skipping the toddler bed phase because I don't want to buy another in-between bed), twin sheets, etc. Probably not the smartest of moves, but we did it and she did sleep in a new mattress on the floor that evening. Poor girl was so tired she didn't move at all.
However, ever since then, we are struggling with bedtime. It's to the point that Hudson and I are missing out on our daily time to catch up and converse because we have to be with her until she falls asleep. If Mommy and Daddy aren't connecting, then we stay frustrated because we can't hold real conversations about real issues that have still occurred while we're going through this. We follow the same routine every night: bath, brush teeth, read Bible stories, pray, sing, go to bed. It's apparently not working though, because now we have to lay down with her so that she will stay in her bed and fall asleep. One night, she talked to her lovey for 3 hours straight. We would leave her in her room by herself if I thought she would actually go to sleep, but no, she pulls everything out of her dresser drawers, unplugs her nightlight, removes all the electrical socket protectors, climbs on top of her rocker to get whatever is in her interest on her dresser, etc. You get the picture. I've had to put a lock on her closet doors so that she can't destroy it, and we've removed everything but her dresser, rocker, and bed from her room.
We've tried laying down with her, patting her back, stroking her hair, singing softly, praying over her. We've tried the "silent" routine of returning her to her bed without saying anything at all (one night, I counted that I walked her back to her bed 25 times). I've sat in her rocker and told her sternly not to get out of bed. We've been on opposite extremes for the last four weeks--from threatening her to staying in her bed, trying rewards to stay in bed, to being as calm as could be. Nothing. is. working. (In fact, if this is confession time, I've just left her room after being in there for 30 minutes where she was no more asleep than when I first started.)
I wish I could say that I've been the world's best model for a mom through this process but I haven't. This has really been so hard on our family, much more than I ever expected. I've been sick for 2 months (apparently chronic tonsillitis, which might require surgery if the last attempt to get over it doesn't work), Hudson and Micayla have both had colds lately, and since preschool has started, she's not taking good naps (or any) at school. The child is exhausted, but yet, not tired enough to fall asleep easily in her big girl bed.
And if all of this isn't boring you to death, then get this oxymoron. The child talks all the time about how she loves her big girl bed. Now I'm not sure how a child that won't sleep in her big girl bed can actually love it, but apparently she does.
Enough of my ranting. I've reminded myself throughout this that this truly is a phase and we'll survive it. And I've reminded myself almost every night that I agreed to this when I became her mother. And as long as I waited to be a mom, I don't want to ever take for granted the good and the difficult that comes with being a parent. Needless to say, I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any. Or encouragement. Or both.
We're headed to a pumpkin farm tomorrow, so hopefully there will be a good story to post!
4 comments:
Leann,
I am pretty sure you won't remember me but I worked and attended SWBTS around the same time you all were there. I hopped over to your blog from Heather's. I felt like I was reading a recap of what has been going on in our house for the past several weeks. Our little girl is 2 and has been in a big girl bed since 17 months and transition very well, however, in the past 2 weeks she has decided to boycott sleep. She is not napping well or at all during the day and then is taking 1-2 hours to go to sleep at night followed by waking up anytime between 3:45 and 5:00am and not returning to sleep. She is exhausted and needless to say, so are we. I don't have any words of wisdom but know I will be praying for you.
Gloria
We went through similar things with Eva when she transitioned. She would wake up at all hours of the night... as many as 5-6 times after we went to bed. So frustrating. It turned out that she was scared and though it seemed counter-productive, we started leaving her door open and eventually leaving her closet light on. We have had friends do reward charts, even if you have to start really small (like rewarding for staying in bed for 5 min.) and another friend who pulled the Super Nanny method and sat in the doorway of her daughter's room for hours until she finally gave up. I think she started out on the bed and gradually moved to the doorway.
I know it's frustrating. It really will pass, although it feels like it won't. Eva still wakes up a ton at night, but has finally learned to not wake us up when she does. Some kids just aren't good sleepers, unfortunately. :(
Hang in there. Hopefully someone can give you some advice that will work. Good luck! :)
Oh, sweetie. We have all been there with something. I wish I could say it will never happen again... I have a difficult time when I run up against this kind of stuff too. I have in my mind what the "perfect mom" would do, but that rarely works - nor am I able to pull it off. There are so many books that give really great advice - and some times none of it works. I will be praying for you in this time. I pray that you will find good time with Hudson, whenever possible. I pray that you will have the strength to get through it. Love you girly!
So sorry you guys are struggling with this. I am already dreading the day when we move Sadie to a "big girl" bed. I am grateful for the crib at the moment.
You might want to check out The Sleep Lady book. I started reading it before Sadie was born and REALLY like her techniques. She has chapters for all ages of kids w/ all kinds of sleep issues. Currently I've leant my copy to a friend, otherwise I'd mail it to you. She has a website too: sleeplady.com.
Good luck!!!
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